Updated: May 13, 2019
It's my life story, recently I saw some post about depression and how they don't talk about the "impossible task" anyhow that post resonated with me because I realized. The reason people are depressed is because they lost their purpose in life. Now I've been through depression before I've been depressed for 4 years after coming back home from Japan. The majority of my life was committed to going there and being a translator. Long story short I became homeless overseas trusted people I barely knew and got betrayed. And also became so sick had to come back home. The mindset I had at that time I thought maybe I didn't put enough will power into it. And then I thought I must be a failure and because of that thought. That became my narrative for 4 years. I also thought I was sick still. I became a hypochondriac. Now what that means is I think I have something bad going on when I really don't. And I'd have panic attacks. I was in and out of hospitals 3 times a week. And every time they would do a diagnosis they'd say "your fine" It was mentally exhausting for the people around me for my family.
And it created a victim mentality which strayed me away from meeting other people. I began to think I was being a burden to other people by just being alive. Now I've never thought I'd be the type to think about ending my life but foolish enough. I've attempted drowning myself and even hanging myself. When I think about it now it was real silly. But anyway after finally deciding to interact with the world again and working a job with other people. Oct 5th 2015 at 6:00 am I got hit by a car. I remember that day so vividly as clear as day. It was another very pivotal point in my life. From that day I gave up on being sad and stressed out over things that gave me no value. I felt and knew that is not living. And it's very interesting how fast that I started to love living just when it could have ended. From going to rehabilitation and having the time to think about life.
I gained a new passion through photography. I've met ton's of artists that want to do what brings them to life. I like being around them and I enjoy working with them. So what I'm saying is when you find your purpose you won't feel like not waking up or saying why bother. You won't need an alarm clock to wake you up. You'll be excited that you didn't die. You'll be grateful for all the things you have. Finding your purpose is not easy. In fact it's suppose to be hard. Life is hard everything you do for the 1st time may have failures. It's ok to fail it's a process. Too many people forget to accept. There were many times I thought it's over because it was hard in the past but nowadays. I'm very excited of who I will become to overcome what is hard. I've overcome many limiting beliefs I've created a job for myself. I've made work I'm extremely proud of and I feel alive impacting others to realize their real worth. And I'm never going back to depression because I found my purpose. And I know you can too.
My life story
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